Bits and Pieces
by denise1
Summary: A tag to Small Victories. Sometimes you just need stress relief


Bits and Pieces

by

Denise

Colonel Jack O'Neill strolled slowly down the monotonous gray corridors. He was beyond tired. He swore if he never saw another techno-bug again it would be far too soon. It was time, long past time to go home. And he still hadn't coerced, no begged, no found someone to go fishing with.

BANG! 'Huh,' he thought, 'What was that?' It sounded like it was coming from Carter's lab. Was she still fiddling with that damned reactor of hers? As brainy as she was, the major really needed to learn how to relax. Heck, she needed to get a life.

BANG!! It WAS coming from her lab. What was going on in there?

BANG!! He heard again as he carefully eased his way around the door jamb. He'd once teased her about blowing up the mountain but he never thought it was a REAL concern.

"Hold still you little purple piece of..."

"Carter, what the hell are you doing?" He asked Major Samantha Carter, his second in command and friend.

Sam looked up at her CO, standing in the doorway to her lab, a curious look on his craggy face.

"I'm doing an experiment sir," she said, blowing her bangs out of her face and bending over to pick up the piece of replicator that had evidently fallen on the floor.

Jack watched her carefully place it on a cement block she must have scavenged from somewhere and pick up her hammer. He saw her position it just so and raise her hammer high. "CARTER!" Jack said, taking a quick step forward to stay her swing. "Are you cracked? What are you doing?" he asked again. The silly thing WAS dead right?

"I'm testing the structural integrity of the replicator tile," she said evenly, trying to wrest the hammer from his grasp.

"With a hammer?" he asked incredulously, twisting the item out of her hand, wondering for a second if he should check her for a fever.

"Well," she said as if she were struggling to come up with the right words. "If bullets have such a detrimental effect on their basic structure then it follows that they are susceptible to physical force and ..."

"Carter," Jack said warningly. "You will not scare me off with long words this time. What is going on?" he demanded in his best 'cooperate or I'll have you scrubbing something big with a mascara brush' voice.

Sensing his determination and knowing she would get no peace, she picked up a piece of paper and handed it to Jack with a sigh. "Some Penta-moron is upset that you and Teal'c didn't bring back any replicator parts for them to play with. And they're not happy that all the parts they've recovered from the sub don't work so they want these," she said, indicating the two purplish-pinkish squares of alien machine.

"So? Upset to lose your new toys?" Jack asked, genuinely confused.

"NO!" Sam cried in exasperation. "Colonel, these are the same guys who wanted a LIVE bug to play with. Do you know what they'll do with this?" she asked, picking up one of the pieces in question. "They'll try to duplicate it. They won't be happy until they MAKE a replicator. It's bad enough they have the tiny pieces of the ones on the sub. At least those have a weakness. These are darned near invincible and I'm not going to let some lab rat make more of them. If someone at the Pentagon wants more of these...they can go get their own," Sam finished her rant and fell silent, wondering if she'd gone too far.

Jack looked at her for a second, then reached out and took the tile from her hand. He studied it speculatively, really looking at it for the first time. It was weird. He'd blasted what felt like a million of the bugs but had never REALLY looked at them. It kinda reminded him of the blocks Charlie used to play with. He would play for hours making castles, forts and towers. Course these blocks shot acid, ate metal and ...oh God what they'd done to Stevens. "You honestly think they'll try to build more of these?" he asked, holding up the block.

Sam cocked her hip and looked her CO in the eyes. "Colonel?" she said in that 'do I really have to spell it out for you' tone of hers.

"Yeah," Jack agreed with a grimace, remembering how the Pentagon had requested a specimen. He set the replicator tile back down on the cement block. "Structural integrity you said?" Sam nodded. "Well, no offense Carter but you hit like a girl," Jack quipped as he motioned for Sam to step back. He picked up the hammer, took aim and brought it down with enough strength to jar his arm.

The tile responded by scooting over a bit, still annoyingly in one piece. Jack looked sheepishly at his friend. "Tough little buggers."

"Uh huh," Sam agreed as Jack swung again. And again, and again.

After a few minutes he paused, slightly winded. Sam was standing a few feet away, leaning against her bench her arms crossed over her chest.

"Damn, that feels good!" he exclaimed.

Sam chuckled. "Oh yeah. Never thought I'd enjoy beating the stuffing's out of something but..."

"Colonel O'Neill." Both Sam and Jack turned to see Teal'c standing in the doorway.

"Hey ya Teal'c," Jack said.

Teal'c walked further into the room. "I have been sent to inquire about the loud noises emanating from this room." Sam and Jack looked at each other, then Sam explained to their Jaffa friend about the Pentagon's request. "This is a most foolish move. If a civilization as advanced as the Asgard could not contain the creatures, these scientists could find themselves creating a, I believe the term is, Frankenstein."

"Exactly," Sam agreed. "Which is why I want to..." she stopped, realizing she may have said too much.

"You are testing the tolerances of the devices," Teal'c said, a wisp of a grin appearing on his face. "It would be most unfortunate if the tiles were destroyed in your experiments."

"Very unfortunate," Jack agreed.

"Horrible tragedy," Sam said.

"Perhaps I could assist you," Teal'c said, holding out his hand for the hammer. Jack passed it over with an indulgent shrug.

"No offense sir, but you must hit like a human," Sam said taking a quick step back as Jack shot her a cold look. She waited until he and Teal'c were discussing the best angle at which to strike at the tile then she turned her attention to the second one. "Wonder HOW heat resistant it is?" she said, mostly to herself as she reached for her cutting torch.

Half an hour later, General Hammond and Doctor Fraiser waded their way through the small crowd of gathered onlookers. They both stopped and stared at the sight before them.

Sam was sitting on a stool, her face hidden behind a welder's mask blasting away at a small item held in a large pair of pliers. Every so often she would lower the torch, inspect her progress and begin again.

Jack and Teal'c were squatted on the floor. General Hammond winced as Teal'c slammed the hammer into the cement floor with so much force he swore he felt the vibrations through his shoes. No wonder the people trying to sleep in the quarters directly below Sam's lab were complaining. It sounded like World War III.

What ever the large Jaffa was hitting skittered away from him and came to a stop after bumping into the general's polished shoe. Hammond watched the man get to his feet with a fluid grace that belied his immense size and walk towards him.

"My apologies General Hammond," he said as he picked up the tiny object they were so intent on.

Hearing the voice, Jack looked up, a chagrined look crossing his face as he saw who was in the doorway. He scrambled to his feet, ignoring his knee's protest, and quickly made his way to Sam's side. He shook her shoulder and motioned to the general.

Sam swiftly snapped off her torch and jumped to her feet, carefully propping the white hot replicator tile on the remains of the cement block Teal'c had crushed with his third blow. "Sir," she said, slightly breathless.

"General," Jack said evenly.

"Anybody care to explain this to me?" General Hammond asked, pretty sure what the answer would be.

"Carter here is checking the...what was it again?" Jack asked the major.

"Structural integrity sir," she said, fighting to keep the guilty grin off her face.

"Right. Structural integrity of the bug parts," Jack said. "Teal'c and I are helping out."

"You ARE aware the Pentagon wishes to study these parts?" George asked evenly.

"Yes sir," Sam replied. "I'll forward the parts to them as soon as I've finished my...tests."

"Of that I am sure," Hammond replied. "Carry on," he said. "Oh and major?"

"Yes sir?"

"Once you're done you may wish to pack the parts carefully. We wouldn't want them to be damaged in transit," the older man said with a grin.

"Yes sir." he heard her reply as he turned and shooed the impromptu audience away.

He and Dr. Fraiser barely made it ten feet down the hallway before he heard the not-so-distant crash of a hammer. "Doctor. I know I've asked this before, but are you sure they're...OK?"

Janet smiled. "You mean sane sir?" she asked flashing back to the first time he'd asked her that question. Hammond nodded. "Oh they're not insane general. Stressed maybe, but not insane. Smashing those bugs is one of the sanest things I've seen them do."

Hammond chucked and stopped. "Sir?" Janet asked in confusion.

"Wonder if they'll need any help?" he asked as he turned and made his way back to Sam's lab. Maybe he'd call Sgt. Siler. The engineer had to have a sledge hammer around here somewhere.

fin


End file.
